wow, 2013...

Gosh... i still able to log in my blog after so many yearssss... Kind of weird feeling writting blog at this age. haha!! look back at my post, im so childish.. but thats really good memory.. so late havent sleep? hmmmm.. actually was thinking something, saw something in fb, make me cant sleep. then browse and browse the net, then found my blog. and suprisingly i can log in, thats why im here writing. really having hard time to sleep. keep on thinking im the 3rd person into my relationship now. feel so heartache when i found she and her ex was still that close when i chase her, even her family know everything but hide from me. i feel that i got cheated and became 3rd person into this relation. what should i do? i love her so much, but i really cant pass my own barrier abt im 3rd person into this relation. this thing never happen in my life, why she hide so many things from me? i went to japan for her, but she just hide from me, her ex even send her to airport with her parents. all of them know her ex exist but all hide from me. Y???? i really sad tonight, but i try my best to cover my feelings. end up we argue, she said im not care abt her, she and her family do things for me but i didnt care. but i didnt!!! i just sometimes not happy and i reply maybe not what she want and missunderstand. lately i n her argue a lot. really really sad. plus today i found out that. aiksss. really really duno what should i do, really wish i have some1 to tell abt all this rather then writing all this to my diary... i went to pyramid today just wanna try our faith, oh gosh, i really saw her,in starbucks, but i didnt call her, bcoz i found her, i wanna try will she found me? after the movie Serendipity, i believe in faith so much. but a bit sad coz she didnt found me, but after that i saw her text saying she was not feeling well, i rushing to find her, but she is no more there, end up i didnt tell her i did went to pyramid with fatty. few more days later we are going to Ipoh, our holiday trip before i leave to Istanbul and she going back to Japan. wish to have a nice trip...