Grandpa,,,,

1136am
7/1/08

yesterday slp at 4am and get a call from brother at 6++. i set alarm for 5am to wake her, but why i cant wake up, haiz.brother call me and said grandpa was in critical situation. then i went down and saw mom and dad already leave to grandpa house and no more transport. so i have to wait 2nd brother to come back and i fall a sleep. then, at 8++ 2nd brother wake me and we rush to grabdpa house and grandpa already pass away. hmmm.. i feel so sad and i saw others was crying. im not crying, just feel down when saw others so sad. grandpa is quite close to me, but i'm not really sad of his leaving because i feel that his leaving is a way to let him get rid of what he suffer. the suffering,pain.... i saw from his reaction yesterday was make me wana cry. but his leaving today make me feel that maybe this is the only solution...
then, after doctor prove that grandpa pass away, relatives all came and prepare for the funeral. i and a lot of my relative who dont know what to do just stand a side and see what can we help.
then, actually i suppose to quit smoking in 2008 but suddenly really feel wana get a puff, so i went to get ciggarette and have fresh air at mamak. haiz, i break my promise. hmmm.. then, after a while, i and brother go back home and we need to go again at evening later.


chris
1145am